Flying into the face of something or other...

There have been few flights that have caused me so much discomfort as this one from Taipei to Brisbane. Unfortunately the kids were not even slightly sleepy and as is the way with kids, cut us very little slack for our need for some ourselves. Sadly, Phoebe fell asleep immediately the plane was airborne on the leg from Bangkok to Taipei, a four hour flight, and didn’t wake again until we’d landed. As a result, she was singing away and requiring parental interaction for hours on this flight, until something like 5 am Brisbane time. Matilda was just too excited to sleep at all, and was all knees and arms if you know what I mean. I got perhaps 15 mins sleep, and Daile got precisely none. Perhaps we’ll have an opportunity to have some once we’re ‘home’ as Wayne and Dette’s will now be.

So we sit here, having been ‘woken’ two hours before the plane is due to land. Two whole hours! If it wasn’t so goddam uncomfortable I’d be pissed off about the waste of time. As it is, it’s a welcome relief from the torture of trying to sleep. I passed up on the breakfast though as the food on this airline is without doubt the primary constituent of cardboard, and I couldn’t insult my colostomy bag with it. Airlines really highlight the paucity of the Keynesian economic model when it comes to the account that is taken of a ‘human’ needs such as being able to walk about and stretch your legs. If you stand up, it has to be in the aisle, there’s nowhere to go if you do, so the person opposite has to have your arse in their face until you decide that you can’t be bothered or one of the attendants comes past with some worthless offering or some fat person wants to make it to the bog. ‘Reclining’ the seat has almost no effect, save to piss off the person behind the seat. The benefit when you’re sitting in the seat is almost indiscernible.

I confess to have been thinking about the discomfiture of the slaves on the traders, when they were squished into those ships with no room other than the physical space that they took to lie down in. I guess that was nothing to what they were going to, shackled up, and I suppose that the earliest Australian settlers had much of the same treatment. Crap food, no space, and worthless offerings. Therefore I dedicate my endurance of this flight to the shackle draggers whose version of ‘economy class’ was to set the tone for everyone else. In this case it is a blessing that we can’t do it the same as in the ‘good ole days’ and I take a moment (since I have such a glut of moments at this time) to give thanks. I did hear of a primitive device that was used for torture that involved locking someone into a cage in which they were unable to stand up fully, or sit down. They were forced to slump with their knees against the bars, which were roughened to make the surface painful to touch. The designer of this aircraft was related to the half human monster that conceived of that device I’m sure.

Enough from this entry then, I’ll go and lie in a pit of fire ants for a little light relief, and post another entry later.