Political Suicide is when you become PM

So I hear that the British general election has ended in a hung parliament. My parents reckon that it’s got a lot to do with the expenses claims scandal that came to light recently, and some unguarded comments by the outgoing Prime Minister Gordon Brown, as well as the fact that people have lost faith in the integrity of politicians in general and in their ability to govern.

But you have to ask yourself who is really to blame for this don’t you? Our societies don’t allow any room for learning within the political systems that we set up, yet much empirical evidence exists to support the view that learning is an iterative process. You take a shot, it’s a little high or a little wide, so you modify your aim and shoot again. When a doctor is learning to find a vein, we expect her to miss more than the Triage nurse. When you’re learning to dive, you’re going to be short on style.

Yet when politicians are at the helm, we expect them to know what to do, predict the outcomes of complex social interplay, understand the full impact of their throw away lines, and we expect them to have been clean as a whistle in their personal conduct up to that point in their otherwise ordinary lives.

Here in Australia, a politician (Troy Buswell) had to resign recently because he’d been sniffing a woman’s chair. OK, NOT all that clever perhaps, but he was being male. Lots of drunk men do that kind of thing.

Fact is, if you’re a politician and you make it into power, the press and the general public will ensure that you’re going to go out with a phut. Look at these British ones:

Edward Heath was seen as a liability by the Conservatives after losing popularity by taking the UK into the European community and after a prolonged stand off with the coal miners, dockers rubbish men etc.

Harold Wilson, his successor was only slightly more popular and resigned from his second bash at Prime Minister upon a wave of anti labour feeling.

Callagan? Finished up with ‘the winter of discontent’ that led to the election of

Margaret Thatcher… who we all know was drummed out on a vote of no confidence. Known for Poll tax riots, arrogance, and a pointy nose (well it’s true!) and ‘the lady’s not for turning’

John Major… Hmmm, nuff said. Known for wearing y-fronts if you read the gutter press. Had an affair with Edwina Currie – for god’s sake! ‘Back to basics’ a campaign about the economy, education, policing and honest policy backfired because he was human and the press made it a moral issue.

Tony Blair gave a similar speech to the Thatcher one in which he said ‘I can only go one way, I’ve not got a reverse gear’. He supported the removal of Saddam, but many people were sceptical about the so called ‘evidence’. Known in the end as ‘Bliar’, ‘Phoney Blair’, ‘Which Blair’, and ‘Lap dog’.

Gordon Brown… well he has a nasty jawing affliction doesn’t he. Clearly this must hamper his ability to think eh?

Over here they call this tendency to knock over significant others ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’. And we wonder how politicians can be so unprincipled. We’d never be like that would we?

So why do business men rip people off whenever they can? Why do people who sell sweets to kids put them in jars with newspaper under the top layer? Why do 50% of marriages end in divorce? Why do people who dial the wrong number hang up without having the decency to apologise? Why do people for whom you stop your car at a zebra crossing glare at you for doing so? Why do priests take advantage of their younger flock members? Why do builders use shoddy practices? Why do doctors talk down to you?

In the end I suppose that it’s all circumstantial and, therefore is open to viewpoint. That we systematically arrive at the conclusion that our PM’s are flawed probably ought to tell us something about them. (Like that they're human, and that they learn by making mistakes? ... pretty much like everyone else - except perhaps Mike Kelt?)

But where’s the fun in that eh?

I’ll leave you with this from the venerable Winston Churchill who described Clement Attlee (his predecessor) like this:

‘An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing St, and when the door opened Attlee got out’.

For his part Attlee described himself like this:

‘Few thought he was even a starter,
There were many who thought themselves smarter,
But he ended PM,
CH and OM,
An Earl and a Knight of the Garter.’

Can’t argue with that!