What do you reckon to this plate?

Good girls

Today we had a really nice day. After lunch, Chelsea and Tara came over to play and they'd not been here long when they all trooped into the garage where I was working to find out if I had any jobs they could do to fund a trip to the sweet shop.

I got them cleaning both our cars including the inside of Daile's and they set to it with some surprising vigour (mostly).





When we went off to spend the hard earned, Matilda decided that she'd proffer another $5 for each of the girls (including herself) to top the measly $3 each that I gave them (agreed with them prior I should say though) and so we set off with $8 each... plus T and C had extra money to buy chocs for their respective parents.

On the way back to the car, I decided to let Phoebe have a go in a massage chair that there are a couple of at one end of the shopping centre. She'd fallen down the top 3 stairs at Tara's house and hurt her back a couple of days ago. She's really into 'girly pampering' as you know, so she jumped at the chance. It was our last $2...



Bless em.

Ramblin' on

Do you remember my mentioning about licence plates the other day? Every now and again you see a plate that is a word, or a phrase... like EMZ24 or BARNES. Well last week I saw the BEST plate I've seen and since I had Daile's handy little camera, stopped the car to take this picture.



A couple of months ago on the way back from our Sunday boat trip, I saw a vehicle coming the other way that had what appeared to be a shed on the back of it, like a snail carries a shell. I thought it was fantastic! It was like a model T sort of front, and a railway carriage type of back, a little truck designed to be a motor home. I've always been interested in building a vehicle like this myself, and since the 'Great Australian Road Trip' is a thing that old folks do when they retire, a germ of an idea is forming here.

Working at the studios, I've been impressed with the extremely high standard of work that is being produced and the range of talents and skills that these largely Australian/New Zealander/British technicians have. There are some amazingly creative and talented folk working here, and I feel humbled to be among them and have learned a great deal. The painters in particular, (although also the steel fabrications team, the sculptors and .... well the list is long) have been an inspiration to me. They are able to make a well constructed piece of furniture that is made of some non significant bit of timber into something regal with real texture and interest in a couple of hours. This week I tried to paint 3 boxes that had been made to look like treasure chest type things, to look like old leather. It took me all afternoon, but with help, they really DID look like they were old leather. I kept having to resist the urge to open them up...honestly. They were just boxes with dummy hinges and locks... but they really did fool you. Fascinating it is.

Some of these painters and sculptors drive exotic cars that I've seen from time to time outside on the roads. I mean the kinds of cars that I'd be interested in owning myself, such as old double headlight Mercs or a round bonnet Holden or a hacked Beatle etc. Something about the car tells you a lot about the person, not always that they are a carburetor head, but perhaps more often that they have an appreciation of good design. I saw a beautiful girl (sculptor) pull up outside our workshop in an old classic olive green Holden 'Special' a few weeks ago to see Pete about working for us. She'd been with construction but had been laid off at the end of the job she was on.... When she got back into her car she started it up, and then tried to start it up again whilst it was already running....making that awful noise that you get when the starter tries to re-engage in the flywheel! Then, because she was embarrassed, she did it again, before she remembered that the next thing to do was put it in gear. (Maybe she used to have an automatic or something...I dunno) So I remember thinking that (a) it was a shame to treat such a lovely car like that and (b) it was never-the-less a testament to her interest in being different that she had chosen to drive something that (from experience) I know will be costing her money to maintain.

Anyway, so the point is that people at the studios are a bit different.... and it was with a sort of 'aah THERE it is' kind of 'knowing' when yesterday I spotted that truck I'd mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago. I really wasn't surprised that something so different would have been associated with the film industry. Here's a couple of pics:







I showed them to one of the guys in our workshop and he said that they are 'common' in NZ... so there's a thing.

One thing I learned when I was painting the leather look boxes was that it's a good idea to wear rubber gloves... as it took me nearly 20 minutes of scrubbing them in the bath to get the crap off my hands... and like a good reporter, I bring you a picture of the resultant mess in the bath. (Too much info?)



Yesterday, I went to a CNC company that is also a design company of sorts to pick up a couple of bits that they'd cut for my CNC router. I was interested to see what their machines were like. They have a couple of laser cutters and one router. The frame design for the one of the laser cutters and the router were almost exactly the same as the one that I've nearly finished building. One of the owners showed me around and even cut a bit of acrylic on the laser cutter to show me how it works. This was VERY interesting to me, the process is quite different from the router, and most notably, is quiet. I'm going to HAVE to get a laser for mine in the fullness of time. (I'd always planned this, and have made the thing to adjust for the extra bed depth that is required). On the way down the motorway to this company, I noticed this:



...which from the single police car in attendance had just happened. As I got closer, it appeared that the fire had been started from a discarded cigarette butt, since it was burning along the edge of the road. I've seen this before... and actually put out a fire that had just started at a set of lights, with a litre of water that I had in the cab.



On the way back, this side of the motorway was at a standstill, and the Police closed the motorway that adjoins this (Smith St). As I was driving by it when I took the pictures, some of the people were slowing down to get a look. This behaviour has always been a mystery to me and leads me onto the next thing I was going to tell you about which is something that pisses me off every day I drive down to the coast.

This motorway has (by UK standards) a low average volume of traffic and it has four lanes. One would imagine that with the extra lane, and less traffic than typical on the British roads, that you'd be able to travel without any big issues and overtake cleanly. I mean, in the UK, people tend to tailgate each other in the fast lane because the slow lane has lorries and caravans, the middle lane is full, and the fast lane is probably going to make progress past it all. We all know the result. HERE, the behaviour is similar, but in a weird way. What happens is that when a new vehicle joins the flow of traffic, they immediately indicate to come out of the inside lane into the second lane. The inside lane is largely unused! Everyone sits in the second, third and fourth lanes, and you can't get past! What's THAT all about? It's illegal to undertake, but if you're moving faster than everyone else...then you have to. I'm thinking of incorporating it into the PhD...



This was the view outside earlier this week.



The birds are SO loud in the mornings! One type is the cockatoo. It looks lovely, and is all white. It sounds HORRIBLE! It's like a beautiful Brandsholme daughter that smiles at you... and then opens her mouth to regale you with who said what! Ha ha. Another thing is that the Myna birds are systematically attacking the cat! They have a loud and persistent squawk when they're doing this...and since the cat is out and about at dawn, this also wakes us. Daile has been going for a walk with one of our neighbours at 6.30 for a few weeks now, and lately they've been getting attacked by Plovers, whose chicks have recently hatched. Plovers lay their eggs on the ground and then fight off anything that comes near. They are absolutely resolute and fierce. They'll attack anything.... well almost anything. These were a bit big even for a Plover...

Australia as mentioned in the Hithchikers Guide to the Galaxy

I got an e-mail from Wayne (or it may have been Bernadette using Wayne's address) today that is by Douglas Adams... and for some reason I've never read this before. I really like the way he writes... and this is such a witty but accurate portrayal of Australia, and this is a blog about living in Australia, so I just HAD to 'print' it here... with thanks (posthumously) to the very insightful DA himself, and Wayne (or Bernadette) for passing it on.

OK... here it is then:

Australia is a very confusing place, taking up a large amount of the bottom half of the planet. It is recognizable from orbit because of many unusual features, including what at first looks like an enormous bite taken out of its southern edge; a wall of sheer cliffs which plunge deep into the girting sea. Geologists assure us that this is simply an accident of geomorphology and plate tectonics, but they still call it the "Great Australian Bight" proving that not only are they covering up a more frightening theory but they can't spell either!

The first of the confusing things about Australia is the status of the place. Where other landmasses and sovereign lands are classified as either continent, island, or country, Australia is considered all three. Typically, it is unique in this.

The second confusing thing about Australia are the animals. They can be divided into three categories: Poisonous, Odd, and Sheep. It is true that of the 10 most poisonous arachnids on the planet, Australia has 9 of them. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that of the 9 most poisonous arachnids, Australia has all of them. However there are curiously few snakes, possible because the spiders have killed them all.

But even the spiders won't go near the sea. Any visitors should be careful to check inside boots (before putting them on), under toilet seats (before sitting down) and generally everywhere else. A stick is very useful for this task.

At this point, we would like to mention the Platypus - estranged relative of the mammal, which has a duck-bill, otter's tail, webbed feet, lays eggs, detects its aquatic prey in the same way as the electric eel and has venomous barbs attached to its hind legs, thus combining all 'typical' Australian attributes into a single improbable creature.

The last confusing thing about Australia is the inhabitants.

First, a short history:

Sometime around 40,000 years ago, some people arrived in boats from the north. They ate all the available food, and a lot of them died. The ones who survived learned respect for the balance of nature, man's proper place in the scheme of things and spiders. They settled in and spent a lot of the intervening time making up strange stories.

Then, around 200 years ago, Europeans arrived in boats from the north. More accurately, European convicts were sent, with a few deranged and stupid people in charge. They tried to plant their crops in Autumn (failing to take account of the reversal of the seasons when moving from the top half of the planet to the bottom), ate all their food, and a lot of them died.

About then the sheep arrived, and have been treasured ever since. It is interesting to note here that the Europeans always consider themselves vastly superior to any other race they encounter, since they can lie, cheat, steal, and litigate (marks of a civilised culture they say) - whereas all the Aboriginals can do is happily survive being left in the middle of a vast red-hot desert, equipped with a stick.

Eventually, the new lot of people stopped being Europeans on Extended Holiday and became Australians. The changes are subtle, but deep, caused by the mind-stretching expanses of nothingness and eerie quiet, where a person can sit perfectly still and look deep inside themselves to the core of their essence, their reasons for being, and the necessity of checking inside your boots every morning for fatal surprises. They also picked up the most finely tuned sense of irony in the world, and the Aboriginal gift for making up stories. Be warned.

There is also the matter of the beaches. Australian beaches are simply the nicest and best in the entire world. Although anyone actually venturing into the sea will have to contend with sharks, stinging jellyfish, stonefish (a fish which sits on the bottom of the sea, pretends to be a rock and has venomous barbs sticking out of its back that will kill just from the pain) and surfboarders.

However, watching a beach sunset is worth the risk. As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger.

Faced with insurmountable odds and impossible problems, they smile disarmingly and look for a stick. Major engineering feats have been performed with sheets of corrugated iron, string, and mud.

Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. They call the land "Oz", "Godzone" (a verbal contraction of "God's Own Country") and "Best bloody place on earth, bar none, strewth."
The irritating thing about this is they may be right.

There are some traps for the unsuspecting traveler, though. Do not, under any circumstances, suggest that the beer is imperfect, unless you are comparing it to another kind of Australian beer. Do not wear a Hawaiian shirt.

Religion and Politics are fairly safe topics of conversation, (Australians don't care too much about either) but Sport is a minefield.

The only correct answer to "So, howdya' like our country, eh?" is "Best (insert your own regional swear word here) country in the world!". It is very likely that, on arriving, some cheerful Australians will 'adopt' you on your first night, and take you to a pub where Australian Beer is served.

Despite the obvious danger, do not refuse. It is a form of initiation rite. You will wake up late the next day with an astonishing hangover, a foul taste in your mouth, and wearing strange clothes.

Your hosts will usually make sure you get home, and waive off any legal difficulties with "It's his first time in Australia, so we took him to the pub", to which the policeman will sagely nod and close his notebook. Be sure to tell the story of these events to every other Australian you encounter, adding new embellishments at every stage and noting how strong the beer was.

Thus you will be accepted into this unique culture.

Most Australians are now urban dwellers, having discovered the primary use of electricity, which is air-conditioning and refrigerators.

Typical Australian sayings:-

* "G'Day!"
* "She'll be right mate."


Tips to Surviving Australia:

* Don't ever put your hand down a hole for any reason WHATSOEVER.
* The beer is stronger than you think, regardless of how strong you think it is.
* Always carry a stick.
* Air-conditioning is imperative.
* Do not attempt to use Australian slang, unless you are a trained linguist and extremely good in a fist fight.
* Wear thick socks.
* Take good maps. Stopping to ask directions only works when there are people nearby.
* If you leave the urban areas, carry several litres of water with you at all times, or you will die.
* Even in the most embellished stories told by Australians, there is always a core of truth that it is unwise to ignore.

Happy Birthday to Feeb...

Well today was Phoebe's sixth birthday and she was awake bright and early of course. I'd been up working on some drawings till nearly 3, so I could have done without it... but hey.

Here she is going for the top one...



...and by the end the 'dog' had got the idea. Walter used to love to rip stuff too.



By the end of the day, she was wiped out. This 'Cabbage 'Pat'' doll was her constant companion.



She looks like a porcelain doll herself eh?

Happy Birthday Joe...!

Flippin' 'eck! I Forgot to put this up yesterday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!

We got Joe a little summut to play with called a Stylophone. (Do any of you remember those?)

Joe, here's a performance for you to aspire to:



Enjoy!

Nature's own...

I was havin' a natta with the Tild this morning, and snapped this as she was explaining the mating habits of the lesser spotted Papua New Guinean blue tit or something....



...all you have to do is sound interested and stand back!

Fountain of bullshit...

I came across an article today about an example of how the interface between capitalist theory unfettered and human values is like watch repair with playdoh screwdriver.

Montblanc, the overpriced pens aka 'status' symbols have just brought out an engraved pen made from gold and silver with an engraving of Mahatma Gandhi (of all people) on the nib! It is apparently on sale in India at 1.1 million rupees ($29,000 AU, or 14,400 quid)

It's hard to imagine a more inappropriate person's monika to slap on this pen than Gandhi. This is the fella after all that, even at his most powerful, insisted on cleaning the latrines just like other lowly people had to. Everything that he stood for was honest and simple. He gave new meaning to the word altruism.

Montblanc apparently 'donated' a hundred thousand euros to build a shelter for rescued child labourers... so they apparently are allowed to produce an abomination like this! (Has anyone realised that a donation is a non purchase type of thing?) Is it right that a person who gave of himself without expectation of reward should be sold out like this? Why are Montblanc allowed to behave in this grotesquely capitalist manner with the memory of an icon of anti capitalist action just because it is blindly understood (and not questioned) that they must have some recompense for their 'donation'? ("I know there is a contradiction between the man they are commemorating and the product they are commemorating him with, but you can't expect a company like Montblanc to come out with a cheap thing" Tusha Gandhi - Grandson of Gandhi)

Er... why not? A real commemoration of the man would be to donate money with no strings attached because it was the right thing to do. Paradoxically, they have produced something that whilst it is expensive in monetary terms, gives new shallowness to the term 'cheap'.

They have utterly missed the point of his life, his sufferings and tribulations. HOW can they have thought that this was appropriate? It's as if the board of directors, probably all MBA's have thought;

'hmmn India's doing good... must be a few millionaires there by now, and we've been selling quite a few pens. What do we know about India? Well we know they have Bollywood, all night raves, they answer all our calls to the bank, and er wasn't there a bloke that used to wander round in a loin cloth that they liked? What was he called? Gandy... Klause says that his birthday is the 2nd of Oct and is a national holiday. We could bring out a pen with his head on it cos they don't go for the British monarch any more do they. OK sort that out someone .... now next item on the agenda... sales in China.

I bet no one at Montblanc read anything about him at all. They should be called Montblank to 'commemorate' the contents of the marketing department's head cavities that normally contain brains.

But should we really be shocked? I mean this is symptomatic of the system that we use to govern our lives. This is what you get when all human values are boiled down to what the economists call WTP (willing to pay). How do you place an economic value on something like dignity?

It's not that I look at You Tube a lot.... but have a ganda at this funny...

Sign of the truth...

In Australia, the licence plate of a car (called a 'rego' here) carries a slogan that some panel of important people have decided is descriptive of what the state is all about. They are, it has to be said, pretty sad. For example, I saw a Victorian plate a while back that said 'Victoria - The place to be'. Yeach! Queensland's is variously 'Queensland - Sunshine State' which is mostly true, or lately, 'Queensland - The Smart State'.





In the US, at least they (to my knowledge) limit the writing to just saying the state's name.
I think it's stupid to write slogans on them, especially because they are less than truthful a lot of the time. and I'm not sure that I can be persuaded otherwise. But I'm telling you all this because tonight I was driving behind a car that had the following written on his plate:

'I fish, therefore I lie'.

Now that's honest!