Ho ho ho

It's been raining this last couple of days, especially last night. This is good for the plants of course, but it's been muggy as hell too. Our brown back garden has picked up a little colour lately which is about time...

I'm feeling glad that the main part of Christmas is now over, and that we're getting closer to a more normal state of things. There's something manic about Christmas that never quite improves, and this year was no different despite our intentions. Daile had everything wrapped in time, and had made lots of nice things to eat. The gargoyles had made some things too, and we were all decorated as far as we went. Then the fridge broke!

I read an interesting thing in a book about why inventions fail a couple of weeks ago that talked about an advert for IBM that heralded the 'intelligent' fridge. In this ad, a doorbell goes and is answered by a quizzical housewife. The man at the door says 'I've come to mend your fridge!' She says that 'It's not broken'... he says 'It's about to break!' The ad explains how fridges will be able to know when a part is about to break and call the engineer, how they' ll also be able to monitor their contents via code readers and order replacements on line etc. It's another one of those silly things that people envisaged for our future, like living on space stations and eating pills instead of food etc. The book goes on to say that the glaring hole in the plan was that fridges are so incredibly reliable that they only break on average every 20 years! I was thinking about this as I surveyed the slowly warming contents of our fridge (just out of warranty). Luckily, we have the old thing in the garage that Tilda and I were able to transfer everything into. The fixers want to charge us $88 dollars to pitch up, and then $100 per hour pro-rata plus parts after that! I mean its almost as if they're doing something complicated! Its a fridge!

Then the internet stopped working! I had to spend 40 minutes on the phone to Telstra so that they could confirm this for me... and then they suggested that I pay for a new router even though this one is still under warranty, because they 'don't know' whether its the router or their system.

Don't y just love it?

Anyway, we're still off line officially, and using my little usb router that costs about 10 times as much to run. Needless to say this will be at our expense in order that Telstra's massive profits are not adversely affected by their own performance eh!

The girls and their friends in the street put on a panto for Christmas. It was called 'The Disaster on Christmas Eve' They spent several productive and fevered days making all kinds of props, before they were willing to let me cajole them into actually writing the script.





In the event, they couldn't find half of the props, couldn't remember their lines, couldn't find the back drops, etc. But all the various parents were in attendance, and there were pre and post performance drinks and interesting buns, provided by the girls collective. It was actually very funny, a comedy by mistake if you know what I mean. We were very proud of them all.







They were making loads of different things in the run up to the big day... Here's a sequence of pics of one of the thing Matilda made (with a little help for the base). The glass is from the local bargain store. I think it's an improvement on the commercial variety don't you?















On Christmas day itself we went over to Wayne and Dettes, and had a wonderful spread of food. It was very hot, but very chilled... if you know what I mean!



Back row from left: Carlene, Lee, Macca, Andrew, Judy, Iggy (Ian)
then; Sandra, Jim, Leanne, The most gorgeous woman in the world (my wife of course!), Caitlin, Maddy
then; Luis, Dette, Feeb, Lil, Wayne,
then: Me, Johnny jetwash, Tild.

All in the spirit of Christmas?

Remember it all started with this little stable... you know, and then the marketing boys got hold of it.

But at least it's got some snow there - like it did in Nazareth eh? It's a significant part of the idea of Christmas isn't it. So where did that come from? I mean at what point did the whole thing become about reindeer, and somehow be linked to a nativity thing?

Over here, the spirit of Christmas is probably Vodka or Gin. It doesn't have the same kind of feel as it does in Europe, and I imagine the US. But it's ALL pretty much a fabricated thing, like Mothers day, Fathers day, Great Auntie Ethel's day or what ever day they happen to be pushing.

Last weekend, presumably with the intention of getting into the spirit of Christmas, a young couple went to a party further down our street. They got pissed (or at least he did) and then proceeded to have a row. She left, he followed and by the time they'd got to the bit of the street outside our house, it was sounding like she was going to get hurt. Daile, calling me as she went out, interceded and I went out to make sure she was OK. There were tears from him, threats of suicide from him, histrionics from him, and feigned violence from him. Daile got the girl in her car and took her home. I stayed and managed to avoid getting hit, unlike our letter box which he kicked and broke at the point that it came out of it's concrete base whilst telling me that I'm a faggot! 'Nothing wrong with that love' I crooned at him as he swayed back towards the party...

After Daile got back, we tried to justify our behaviour to ourselves. We wondered why it was only us that had done anything. Before they got to us, they'd walked screaming past lots of houses. 3 doors up from us lives a police man... where was he? Opposite from us there is a house that MUST have heard. But only Daile and I responded, without thought for our own safety. Are we stupid?

The following day, the man from over the road came over. He said that if we needed to press charges for damage to our car (which the guy had kicked) or our letter box, he'd seen it all and could back us up. He explained that had something happened, he'd have been straight out to help. We thought how nice that he'd stayed behind his curtains at the time, whilst I faced the drunk (but very fit) boy alone. Today Daile had a conversation with another neighbour (about four houses further up the street) and She said that they'd seen the whole thing too, and so had the police man! Where were they then?

So THAT's what they mean by neighbourhood watch here! Ha ha... or should that be Ho Ho?

Jack Warner - Rest in Peace

This week we heard the unbelievable news that our dear friend Jack Warner had died of a heart attack at the weekend. He was a loving and fun father to four kids - Tim, Ella, Rosie and Kes and a wonderful husband to Sue. Sue is Daile's cousin, and therefore he was also Matilda and Phoebe's uncle.
We are utterly dumbfounded that he has gone, it was so sudden. We just sit here looking at the floor, wondering how the family will cope, how anyone can cope with such a loss, and wishing that we could be there, to just be there, knowing that there's nothing that you can do to take away the pain, but that at least you can do the chores... or something!
Sue is a very resilient person, they both were always, and the kids have that too I'm certain, but HOW do you get through something like that?
All our thoughts are with them, and we've done much talking about it with the girls, who've made Christmas decorations in memory of Jack - a man they greatly loved and admired - as did we, and as did everyone that knew him!

We love you Jack.

Books...and not judging by the covers!

OK, I'm allowing myself a little display of pride here (hopefully not short lived)... the girls have both finished school now and have got into the classes that we wanted. Phoebe, having been upgraded to to year one from prep this year, turned in a report that was up at the upper end of year one results, so she's done really well and will start year two in DGB which is the class that Tild has just left. DGB, runs from year two to year three, so she'll be in it for two years. This is absolutely fantastic as far as we're concerned because DGB (Mrs's Day, George and Bird) are a team of three teachers that are so in tune with each other that the classes go like a polished performance, all the kids seem to know the part that they are playing and there's always lots of smiles and laughter. Phoebe's transition into that class has been anticipated - and both they and Daile and I have requested that she be admitted to that class rather than some random other one. She does however have a very hard act to follow!

Matilda, has left a real and apparently very welcome mark on that class, is well liked by all the kids, who flock around us as parents when we pitch up. All the other parents comment on how their kids want to be like her, and how they all eat fruit and vegetables and try to read all the time like Matilda does. (Always got her nose in a book). Matilda bakes cookies for class and they're bloody good too, all the Mums are looking at us like we're parenting GODS!

She got a another stellar report, and they gave her this last Friday: (Click on it to enlarge)



Funny that we can't seem to get her to do all that at home innit!

Poem on the fly

Here's a poem that Matilda wrote whilst she was waiting to go on at the school concert the other day. They put it in the school newsletter:

THE CONCERT
Today’s the big day
Of the concert “horray!”
With bright pink tutu all lovely and soft
And singers practicing their voices cough, cough!
Cough, cough!
There are dancers, a band and narrators too
Your parents smiling and waving at you.
After the show it’s very late
Dad carries me into the car and past the gate.
As soon as we get home I’m tucked into bed
I lie on the pillow and rest my head.
Mum comes in and kisses my cheek,
“Well done!” she says, “to me it was a great treat!”
By Matilda Martin DGB
Before the show observations

Nice eh! A couple of nights after that, I woke up as I was falling out of bed. I hit the floor whilst flailing about trying to catch myself. After I'd got over my embarassment (funny that I'd embarassed myself... I was the only one to see it) I realised that I'd just been kicked out of bed by Matilda. Daile had already found somewhere else to sleep... so Matilda had obviously been 'snuggling in' and I'd been trying to get into a cooler space. Ha ha. When she heard she thought that it was very funny. I went to sleep again with Daile in the spare room.

Chocolate and Turtle tanning

Daile decided to get out the advent calendars this year, the ones that we brought from the UK. One is from Mum, and has pockets for sweets, and the other is a thing that requires chocolate moulds to be filled and the results go into little numbered plastic foil bags. Only thing was that neither of us really gave the problem of heat any thought until it came to deciding where to hang them. We realised that they would very soon be little puddles of chocolate in the bottom of the bags... and we couldn't think of anywhere that we could put them where that wouldn't happen. Our house is pretty hot, especially at the top, where Daile and I sleep. Even the bottom is hot, though there could be as much as 5 degrees in it.

We realised that we'd have to keep them in a fridge, not exactly festive, but in the end,, we put them in the fridge in my workshop. Normally this is my beer fridge, but hey, y'know, I love the little blighters and thought that perhaps I'd share it on this occasion! (Especially as there's no beer in it right now!).

So, I duly strung out the little tartan ribbons that hold the bags up, having first taken out the door furniture and given it a wipe down. This is what they looked like; I was actually really pleased with it, as were the girls!





The day after we got back from Melbourne we picked up the class turtle from Matilda's class. We'd been asked if we'd like to have her, because I'd expressed an interest in building her a larger tank at the beginning of term. Since no budget was forthcoming and the glass alone would have been circa $200, it didn't happen. Never-the-less, I'd obviously acquired the label 'sucker' in the process and so when they asked me, I just HAD to say yes! The girls were thrilled... and all Matilda's class mates were either jealous or just sad to see her go. Trouble was that at 8 years old, she was just too big to keep in the class tank any more.

This pet acquisition is like a creeping ivy, it just sort of happens whilst you weren't paying attention and before you know it you're committed to another being's welfare!

'Squirtle' is enjoying 'retirement' according to Mrs George and Mrs Day, two of Matilda's teachers, and we've been getting her out of the tank, something that hardly happened at all before. As a result, her shell is beginning to dry out, and flake away, a healthy sign I'm told. She LOVES sitting in the sun!



Here she is in the back of the Ute. I was trying to work and she kept trying to go down the garden and across the road! Jack the cat is trying to show her how to get out... but she's not got the hang of it yet!



Here's a picture of her proud owner!

Helen and Simon's wedding

Last weekend we went to my cousin's wedding in Melbourne. It was the first time that I'd been to Melbourne and I was expecting great things. In the event, we didn't really have much time or energy for going into the city.

I'd gone for the cheapest flights that I could find, but hadn't realised how much harder it is to get to Elaine's (My Aunt) house. We left our house at about 10.30 and got to hers at about 7.00pm. We were going straight out again to a party at Simon's (The groom) and so we were a little pooped by the end of the day.

Elaine has a lovely little flat in her garden, and currently my uncle (Don) is staying there for a few months. He visits from the UK every year.

Anyway, here's some pics in no particular order:

This is David, Elaine's partner of several years, a really great fella.



Elaine hasn't changed much in the 35 or so years since I last saw her!



Daile... we got back from the cafe too late for her to put on make up, so she just did without! I love that!



Mallee - Helen and Simon's little boy and a fine one he is - FULL of beans!



The venue, an Orchard!



Simon, (the blushing groom)...



Don walking up with Helen, and the bridesmaids... (not one of them blushing actually)





Leo, Helen's brother and Mallee. The gent on the right is Scotty, the photographer and a mate. The ute was driven in by Helen with the 5 bridesmaids on the back and Don and Leo in the cab with her...



The celebrant was a woman, and a really buoyant one!



One of the guests... a free ranging one.



Mallee again..



The happy couple...



After the ceremony just before the speeches...



Simon's Dad Peter giving a lovely speech, then Elaine on his right, and Don grinning.



Don and Simon



Helen and Susie - Simon's Mum in the background...



Leo's partner, Victoria (Tory)



one of Peter's grand kids...



Leo with the marriage certificate. (He was bemused to have been trusted with it!)



More free range guests... these are Lucas's girls...



Helen, making a gettaway!



We really had a lovely time, did some walking, lots of interesting talking with Elaine and David and of course Don, and drinking coffees at a local venue that is REALLY nice and part of Elaine's morning walk with the dog (Lancelot). It was fantastic to be invited and catch up with all my Australian family connections. I have to say that Helen and Leo are really fantastic, balanced and charming people.

English Rose

Matilda told me this evening, that 'there's one thing that I don't do when we have school assembly, and I bet you can guess what it is...!' I couldn't so I asked to her to explain. She said that she feels wrong about singing the Australian National Anthem (Australia Fayre), and that she just stands there silent, with her lips pressed together! "Don't you feel like an Australian then?' I asked. 'No - (Indignant) ... I'm English!' Made me smile. You can take the girl out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the girl!

The first cut is the deepest?

OK, I'm very excited cos I've just cut my first 'paying' job with the router. It isn't much work, but I undercut the competition by 10% and still made a small bit of dosh.

The job was only a little one, or else it would have been a fair bit of dosh. It all goes on cutting time, and this was only 15mins of cutting time, 5 mins per door. If i'd had a bigger cutter, I could have cut them quicker, but 32mm thick material is pretty thick, and probably wont come past all that often I'd have thought.

I turned over sixty whole dollars! Yep, I'm on my way! Ha ha.

I know its not going to pay for Christmas, but it's better than a slap round the chops with a wet kipper eh?



I"m also trying to develop some kind of products for sale. The first thing I came up with is a bit odd... but I like it. Question is of course whether anyone else does. It's got a few more issues to resolve.... like I'm going to use a larger can, and the base might be from a mould of this and cast in concrete... plus I need to get an electrician to look at it and tell me where I'd have trouble in terms of selling to the public etc.

Committing insecticide

I'm feeling bad this morning!

Last night a Christmas beetle flew into the house around 10pm. They're very noisy because they're quite big and robust and bump into everything. This one was a beautiful gold colour and I thought that it would be good to kill it rather than chase it out...so that we could marvel at it's colour from a 'natural history' perspective.

I trapped it under an egg cup and sprayed some fly killer under to do the poor thing in. It didn't seem to do much so I put in another dose, not wanting it to be a prolonged process for the thing. It still didn't die but seemed to be just arching around trying to keep going. I left it to die and went to work on my computer.

An hour later I went to look and it was STILL alive! Now I felt really bad, so I decided that I'd try to wash the stuff off it, and see if it could get better... and it seemed to be much better after that... not able to move properly, but I wondered if it would. I put it in a box to recover and left it outside.

This morning it was still there, still trying, but obviously unable to control it's limbs. I feel terrible! I couldn't bring myself to crush it, so I've drowned it. It's finally passed on. I know it's silly, but I feel a sort of respect for it. Poor thing.

Morning darling...!

When we first conceived of living opposite a forest of trees (as we do) we imagined that the sound of the birds in the morning would be a heart lifting sound that sustained us in fine spirits until mid morning tea at the very least. There is something about birdsong in the early morning that provides a gateway to some other place in the mind, the heart, and soul. Couple this to the robust dawn light that we get here, a sort of clean version of sunset…full of moisture and cool air, and the thought of breakfasting on our little balcony overlooking the vista sounds quite lovely. At any rate, the average temperatures here mean that the normal state of living is with windows open. We invariably sleep with the sliding doors to the balcony open to get some circulation, and we are therefore physically connected to the dawn in a way that makes the natural world hard to ignore from about 5.30 a.m.

Imagine now the sound that you might expect from a hundred and fifty year old fishwife in ruddy good health chasing a bunch of reprobate children off her strawberry patch for the third time in ten minutes. Her voice would be a sort of ‘other worldly’ screech that defies categorisation… and without actually seeing her making the noise, you’d not be able to place it. Now imagine that that voice coming out of a radiant blond 20 year old beauty with long shimmering locks, straight white teeth and a long white flowing dress… and you’d have the Australian Cockatoo.

The Cockatoo is a beautiful white bird, a bit like a dove, that sounds like it’s trying to spew up its guts! That’s what we wake up to most mornings. ‘Hi… welcome to Australia, have a nice day!’

Sweat, Blood, but no Tears!

Today we had a tidy up a bit, and I finally got around to cutting up Matilda's (then Feeb's) first little bicycle - as we'd discussed the fact that it could make them a second scooter. Ages ago I bought a little scooter off a stall in Bruton at the Packhorse Fair... that Molly used to play at. They both love the thing, and I'd promised to make another.

The only thing I used from the bike was the headstock and front end bit, plus the two little plates that hold the back wheel to the frame. The rest was 50x25 box that I had left from my CNC build.

Here it is...



Matilda had relinquished 'ownership' of the first scooter to Feeb some time ago, and so this is really for her. However, she's taken a bit of an interest in God lately and had decided to go to church with Chelsea who's parents are committed to whatever their religion is...not sure but it might be Baptist. Anyway Tild wasn't around when I finished this, so I got Feeb to give it a whirl...(having first done so myself) She declared it OK and we decided to have a race down the street.

Well, the newbie went really well and she was in the lead when she suddenly said 'OWWWW!' like she meant it... and I saw that she'd opened up her leg! I'm not entirely sure what on... but here's the wound:



... and here's the area that cut her... though nothing here is ACTUALLY sharp!



You can't really tell from the pic, but the cut was pretty deep... and I instantly knew it would need medical attention. Feeb is remarkably calm in these kinds of situations and she was this time too. She was a little freaked out at being able to see 'into' her leg... but she didn't cry. She'll probably be the kind of woman that has babies at the same time that she's cooking the dinner and smoking a Woody. Good 'outback Australian' stock perhaps?