Man gives birth to twins...

When I met that nurse the other day, she said that it is commonly held that passing a kidney stone is like having a baby! She meant that the pain is of that level of intensity of course.
I held onto that thought as I 'laboured' on the examination table, having no idea of what I was in store for otherwise.
Today, I had a very productive full day at work, but when I came out and began to drive down the mountain, I had a very sharp 'contraction' and had to pull over. When I went to have a CT scan on Thursday at Logan, they declared that the original baby was 3.6mm and that I had twins! The second baby was 3mm and presumably would be ready for 'birth' imminently!
Well, I'm proud to tell you that I've just given birth to my second stone, this time I opted for a home delivery, and just breathed through it, with the dubious help of some carry out drugs that I waited an hour in the pharmacy for yesterday. Given the size of my little tike, you'd have thought that the labour would have been over and done with in a second or two eh? Er no.
It took 29 minutes. The pain is like i imagine it would feel if someone spiked you with a flint spear and then turned it.... I considered whether there was a 'scale' for measuring this kind of pain like the scovil heat index or the sting pain index I referred to in an earlier blog.
Anyway, it shows what a saddo I am, that barely have the shakes subsided and the newborn gone to sleep in its final passage to the bladder and ultimately being adopted by the Ipswich sewerage corporation, and I'm on here reporting the hot news to you all. How blessed you all are to be cherished like this. I guess you could consider this the 'Gas' part of 'Gas and Air'.
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PS
I had a look for something on pain index and there's nowt. However I did find an interesting article about it and its in the side index called 'The Problem of Pain' - Worth a read, especially the pain ceiling bit, and salt versus Morphine.
In the definition offered 'psychical' refers (I think) to the influence of the human mind, and 'adjunct' refers to 'a drug used in a combination of remedies which may help in the total therapeutic effect' - although in this case the drug is a 'subjective' one. ( I am SO good to you ....looking up the definitions an' all! ) BTW some of you may not know that to find the definition of a word using Google, just type 'define' and then the word in the search box. Its BRILLIANT!!